Operation Masquerade

Operation Masquerade
by Nigel Mitchell
(5/5 stars)

Unlike the author's previous sci-fi stories like "Flying Saucers" or "Call Center of Doom" this is not a humorous story. It's more of a combination of "Starship Troopers" and "Blade Runner."

Humanity has for years been fighting against a race of insectoid aliens called the Chitt'k, but not much is known about these bugs. Jason Locke, a trained commando and actor, is tasked with using a mechanical bug suit to infiltrate an alien ship to find out their secrets.

Meanwhile on Earth, Jason's wife who is also a commando unearths a government conspiracy and winds up dumped in the wilds of old New York, which is pretty much a ghetto overseen by drug lords. She has to escape to try to warn her husband of the threat.

This is a tense, entertaining sci-fi thriller. It has enough twists and turns that you can never be sure what's going to happen next. Highly recommended.

That is all.

Dragonfly Warrior

Dragonfly Warrior
by Jay Noel
(5/5 stars)

A caveat here:  this is the first steampunk book I've read.  I'm not a fan of the genre by any stretch.  I guess my main problem is it relies so much on hindsight, people taking stuff we have now and reverse engineering it to 19th Century technology.  I tend to think if they could have made a giant walking spider back then someone probably would have.

My point then is I was prepared not to like this book, but I did.  Since I haven't read any steampunk before what it actually reminded me of is Star Wars.  Zen is like a Jedi in that he has a sword and a mystical ability that helps him fight.  When he goes in search of the "Sky Sword" he meets a scoundrel who also happens to own a very fast ship--sound familiar?  And then they meet a a woman who's very tough and capable--but does not turn out to be Zen's sister.

Thinking of it that way probably helped and also I don't think it took the steampunk to ridiculous extremes.  Not like for instance "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" where they had a fleet of SHIELD helicarriers in the mid-30s.  Say whaaaat?  Although there was (briefly) a mechanical spider thing most of the technology like airships and cars were plausible in the late 19th Century as there were already hot air balloons, rudimentary cars, and even at least one crude submarine in the Civil War.

Besides Star Wars I suppose it plays out like one of those fantasy books where there's a party on a quest.  It just so happens instead of fighting dragons and wizards they're after the "Machine Boy" who to use another Star Wars reference reminded me of young Anakin Skywalker, though less annoying because he didn't go around asking teenage girls if they were angels.

Anyway, it's a fast-paced, action-packed read that's written very well.  There's nothing to dislike, even for someone who doesn't like steampunk.  I'm looking forward to the next book.

That is all.

Hunting Elvis Presley for Fun & Profit

Hunting Elvis Presley for Fun & Profit
by Nigel Mitchell
(5/5 stars)

This isn't very long as it's intended to be a pamphlet not a novel or anything like that. As the title suggests it provides a lot of wacky tips on how to find and kill Elvis Presley in all his various incarnations. The author does a great job of writing it to make it really seem like something someone in the tinfoil hat brigade would write.

Recommended for fans of Weekly World News or "Bubba Ho-tep." I promise you'll never look at the world the same way after you read this.

That is all.

To Cure the Humans

To Cure the Humans
by Douglas Lewis
(4/5 stars)

At a time when healthcare is big in the news, this book takes a satirical look at the health insurance industry.  An alien named Peter by accident gets an artifact that allows him to cure all diseases in a being.  When he gets to Earth he starts using it on humans, which gets an alien bounty hunter named Cyril on his tail.  A big insurance company also comes after Peter to take the artifact for his own purposes.

Like any humorous story there are some jokes that land and others that don't.  Which do and do not probably depends on your sense of humor.  The writing is solid enough and for a while the story is fun.  It's just way too darned long.  At 456 pages it needs to be about 33% shorter.  Much of this could have happened if all the stuff about Area 52 had been cut out since it wasn't really that necessary.

Anyway, except for the length this is a good book if you like Douglas Adams or similar authors.

That is all.

Temporary Anne

Temporary Anne
by Briane Pagel
(5/5 stars)

Another chilling tale from the author of The Scariest Thing You Can't Imagine. This novella is about a formerly beautiful woman who becomes a ghoul in order to avoid going to Hell. The lengths she goes to in order to avoid her fate defy the imagination. Since I've read a lot of Vonnegut this year, I kept thinking Pagel's style reminds me a lot of Vonnegut's work in that while the narration seems jaunty with its humorous asides and such, there's a lot of hidden depth to that narration.

Besides the novella, there are also short stories from Andrew Leon, Rusty Carl, Nigel Mitchell, and some guy named PT Dilloway.

That is all

The Whole Bloody Affair

The Whole Bloody Affair
by Tony Laplume
(4/5 stars)

This omnibus captures the whole trilogy of a young girl named Yoshimi who has to uncover who murdered her parents and then take her revenge.  In kung-fu movie style this is accomplished by working with various masters on technique and then applying those techniques on hapless would-be assassins.  This ultimately leads her to learn about herself and to question some things she had taken for granted.

Most of the story is good, especially if you like kung-fu, Tarantino's "Kill Bill," or the Flaming Lips's "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots."  At times, especially before the final battle, it gets a little too windy, to the point that a lot of the air goes out of the drama.  It could also use another editing pass.  Overall though it's a good read.

I was also relieved that in book 2 there's a pink robot reference.  Finally!

That is all.

The Sex Gates

The Sex Gates
by Darrell Bain & Jeanine Berry
(2/5 stars)

I'm not going to say too much so I don't get yelled at as has happened before. Suffice it to say the writers have a great future writing for the adult film industry. Like many indie books this has a number of typos; the writers should learn the difference between "succeed" and "secede" for instance. Maybe because of all the graphic sex I found all the characters unpleasant. The first one to go through a gate and change his/her sex was the worst. He goes through the gate and becomes a woman, promptly turns into a whore, and that's pretty much her only function. A main character goes through, becomes a woman, has sex with everyone, and then we skip forward 3 years, so it didn't really add much. 

There was a forehead-slapping moment where that character named Lee goes from a boy to a girl and they all get together and decide to change her name to Li.  What?  I checked this on a couple baby name sites and Lee is listed as a unisex name.  Duh.  Lee would be a lot less confusing than Li, where they'd probably think she was Asian, bringing to mind an old Seinfeld episode involving that scenario.  That was about the moment I lost all confidence in the authors.

At least by the end we sorta find out what the gates are, though it was kind of obvious; I think the various incarnations of Star Trek did it a number of times. I don't understand the decision to set it in the future as that only creates confusion that makes it harder to grasp the impact of these weird gates appearing from nowhere. And I could have done without the Limbaugh-esque junk about those entitled poor people receiving government handouts. I would invite the authors to try to live on Social Security or welfare and see how entitled you feel.

I've probably said too much. Oh well.

That is all.